(We all know, of course, that it was your brother who broke the vase. That’s it.) Is making love like making a table or a chair? Do you see a block of wood, sand out the roughness, cut off the pieces you don’t want, and produce a Stradivarius violin? Or is it more like a recipe, with ingredients carefully measured and added? Must it simmer, boil, or freeze? How long does it have to bake, and at what temperature? Do I have all the ingredients, in the right proportions? Am I supposed to have all the ingredients, or will the person I make love with be the one to supply what is missing? I’m not sure of any answers, but we were doing it. Making love. You and I. Some of your ingredients, a few of mine, and voila! There it was. Love. Things taste different to everyone, and though I am not sure how it tasted to you, it was certainly sweet to me. A delicious affair of love. I’m not sure how it started or how it got there. Maybe it was the first time we made love. Maybe it was the next. I read the ad one final time before I take a deep shaky breath and put away my phone in my black Cole Haan overcoat. I can feel the heady glances of several men on the subway train and I know that I look good with my smoky black eyeshadow, black kohl eyeliner, and ruby red matte lipstick. I look professional on the exterior and no one can venture to assume that underneath the classy façade, I am on my way to fulfill my most taboo fantasy: to be a sweet little obedient fuck doll to five handsome dominant men. I secretly hope and pray that they are decent men, not mean, overtly aggressive males that harbor a deep resentment and hatred toward the opposite sex.Despite the anxiety entrenched within me, I still find myself walking to the sleek, beautiful building that juts up proudly to the cerulean sky. I am so nervous that I find myself pausing in mid-step, debating in my chaotic mind whether I should walk into this dark sexual fantasy.But why is it dark? I quickly realize that I have no.
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